Author: jacobh

Fictional Sunday comic. No actual municipal department, lidded or otherwise, is being reported here.

The Sunday setup

When a blue food container loses its lid, the Department of Lost Lids is ready with shelves of hopeful matches, a patient clerk, and a surprisingly organized corgi clientele.

Comic dialogue

1. Customer: “I THINK THIS BELONGS TO SOMETHING.”
2. Clerk: “YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE. WE REUNITE TOPS WITH BOTTOMS.” Customer: “THAT SOUNDS PERSONAL.”
3. Clerk: “LET’S SEE WHAT CALLS TO IT.”
4. Customer: “IT FITS!” Clerk: “THEY ALWAYS KNOW.”
5. Corgi: “EXCUSE ME. I LOST MY TRAVEL-MUG LID.”
6. Clerk: “AISLE THREE. BY THE VERY CONFIDENT COASTERS.” Customer: “DO THEY FIND THEIR OWN CUP?”

Original fictional comedy and artwork for FunnyNews.lol.

FunnyNews.lol Sunday Funnies — an expanded original work of fictional comedy.

The Lost-and-Found for Minutes

Rae misses the bus by twenty minutes and discovers a municipal office that claims to recover lost time. The good news: seven minutes have been found. The bad news: returning them takes a while.

Sunday comic transcript

1. Panel one: Rae runs toward a departing bus and says, “There go twenty minutes I’ll never get back.” A storefront sign beside the bus stop reads, “MUNICIPAL LOST & FOUND: MINUTES.”
2. Panel two: Inside, shelves hold glowing jars labeled “LOOKING FOR KEYS,” “SNOOZE BUTTON,” and “MICROWAVE 0:01.” The clerk says, “Describe the time you lost.”
3. Panel three: Rae says, “Twenty minutes. Tuesday. I was scrolling.” The clerk checks a ledger and replies, “Those were claimed by an algorithm.”
4. Panel four: The clerk lifts a small jar and says, “But we found seven minutes under your calendar.” Rae says, “I’ll take them!”
5. Panel five: Rae joins a long line beneath a sign reading, “TIME REFUND PROCESSING.” Rae asks, “How long is the wait?” The clerk answers, “About seven minutes.”
6. Panel six: Rae reaches the empty counter as the jar gives a tiny ping. A placard reads, “SOME TIME WAS LOST IN THE RETURN.” Rae says, “Honestly, that tracks.”

This office, its time-recovery policy, and all bottled minutes are fictional.