FunnyNews.lol

Author: jacobh

  • The Very Important Potluck

    The Very Important Potluck

    Fictional comedy

    Three-panel newspaper comic: Mara brings an enormous potluck cart with a casserole, herb pot, and folding chair; the organizer asks which part is food; Mara sits on the chair and says she came prepared.
    Editorial illustration

    At the community-center potluck, Mara’s definition of a “little something” makes room for dinner, seating, and a tactical amount of basil.

  • The Button Inspector

    The Button Inspector

    Three-panel fictional newspaper comic in a dry-cleaning shop: a mole inspects a sheep's loose coat button, asks for its address, then gives the button a tiny suitcase, hat, and travel ticket.
    Editorial illustration

    The Button Inspector is an original fictional comic strip.

    1. Mole: “This button has come loose.”
      Sheep: “Can you sew it back on?”
    2. Mole: “First, I need its address.”
      Sheep: “Its address?”
    3. Mole: “It says it’s ready to travel.”
      Sheep: “Ah. A button with a pressing engagement.”

    Fictional comedy for FunnyNews.lol.

  • The Library’s Loudest Book

    The Library’s Loudest Book

    Three-panel fictional newspaper comic in a warm library: a badger librarian asks a turtle visitor to keep books quiet, an oversized book blurts out loudly, and the librarian gives the book a library card and earmuffs.
    Editorial illustration

    The Library’s Loudest Book is an original fictional comic strip.

    1. Badger librarian: “Library rule: books speak softly.”
      Turtle visitor: “This one has a big vocabulary.”
    2. The book: “BLAAARP!”
      Badger librarian: “That is not an inside voice.”
    3. Badger librarian: “I’ll shelve it with the audio books.”
      Turtle visitor: “Then it won’t feel left out.”

    Fictional comedy for FunnyNews.lol.

  • The Lost-and-Found Museum

    The Lost-and-Found Museum

    A three-panel fictional newspaper comic: a raccoon museum curator presents a single mitten, then realizes the matching mitten is on the raccoon's tail as a duck visitor points.
    Editorial illustration

    Fictional comedy. A tiny Lost-and-Found Museum celebrates its rarest exhibit: a mitten that was never very far from home.

    Comic transcript

    1. At the Lost-and-Found Museum, the curator announces: “Welcome! Today’s exhibit is a missing mitten.”
    2. The duck visitor asks: “Just one mitten?”
    3. The curator explains: “The other half remains at large.”
    4. When the visitor points at the curator’s tail, the curator realizes: “Oh! A live reunion!”
  • Circle Back, Literally

    Circle Back, Literally

    Three-panel fictional office comic: a manager asks colleagues to circle back, the coworkers walk in a circle around a desk, and they discover the agenda at its center.

    Fictional comedy. When a manager asks the team to “circle back,” the office takes the request with cheerful precision.

  • The Weather Desk

    The Weather Desk

    Fictional comic. All characters and situations are invented.

    A five-panel original comic in which a raccoon meteorologist makes an ordinary pleasant forecast feel thrilling with a fan, a tiny umbrella, and office applause.
    Editorial illustration

    The Weather Desk

    Some forecasts need data. Others need a fan, an umbrella, and the courage to call a pleasant day breaking news.

    Comic transcript

    1. The raccoon announces: “The forecast: sunny with a 90% chance of pleasantness.”
    2. It unveils a fan: “I brought the dramatic fan.”
    3. It raises a tiny umbrella over a plant: “And a chance of drizzle.”
    4. The formal conclusion is: “Our official forecast is: quite nice.”
    5. The frog replies: “At last, weather with a purpose.”
  • The Neighborhood Suggestion Box

    The Neighborhood Suggestion Box

    Fictional comic. All characters and situations are invented.

    A five-panel original comic in which a pigeon building manager reads bizarre lobby suggestions and gives a potted plant a tiny chair while animal neighbors cheer.
    Editorial illustration

    The Neighborhood Suggestion Box

    The building manager promised every suggestion would be considered. The plant’s new chair indicates a remarkably literal interpretation of that policy.

    Comic transcript

    1. Suggestion one: “Please install more dramatic lighting for entering.”
    2. Suggestion two: “Replace the elevator music with louder elevator music.”
    3. Suggestion three: “The lobby plant deserves a tiny chair.”
    4. The manager considers the request: “Frankly, the plant has been standing all day.”
  • The Lost-and-Found Finds Itself

    The Lost-and-Found Finds Itself

    Funny Pages — Original fictional comedy

    At the Museum of Things That Probably Belong to Someone, the lost-and-found desk has discovered its first employee who understands the mission from both sides.

    A three-panel fictional comic at a museum lost-and-found desk. An attendant asks a red glove what it needs; the glove says it helps lost things find themselves; an umbrella and scarf wait as the attendant calls the glove overqualified.
    Editorial illustration

    The visitor relations team is delighted. The umbrella has a new orientation buddy, the scarf has someone to talk to, and the glove has already filed a proposal for a matching-sock outreach program.

    This comic is fictional satire and not a news report.

  • A Quiet Zone for Leafing

    A Quiet Zone for Leafing

    Fictional comedy

    A three-panel comic in a library: a librarian tells a houseplant on an office chair that it is a quiet zone; the plant says it is there for some leafing; the librarian points to the botany shelf and a sign reading Puns: Whispered.
    Editorial illustration

    At the library, even the greenery knows that the best puns are the ones you can barely hear.

  • Fern Takes the Calendar

    Fern Takes the Calendar

    Fictional comic strip

    Fern Takes the Calendar

    When Fern sees a reminder to water on Friday, the office plant makes a perfectly logical scheduling adjustment.

    Four-panel comic: an office worker leaves Fern the potted plant with a watering reminder; Fern studies it, takes charge of a wall calendar, then wears the worker's glasses at the desk when the worker returns.
    Editorial illustration

    Comic transcript: In panel one, the worker says, “Water Friday, Fern!” In panel four, Fern replies, “I moved it to today.”

    All characters and events are fictional.